Briefing Document: Joey's Theory - The Law of Behaviour
Overview:
Joey's Theory, developed by Nina Fitzgerald, presents a radical shift in understanding human behaviour, positing that all actions are driven by varying degrees of insecurity and that "love is the complete lack of it". It proposes that instead of measuring success through traditional metrics like power or wealth, we should measure it through an individual's capacity for love, which stems from inner security and resilience. This framework suggests that by focusing on validation, empathy and love, we can foster a new era of personal and collective well-being.
Key Concepts & Themes:
Insecurity as the Root of Behaviour:
The central tenet of Joey's Theory is: "All behaviours are different levels of insecurity. Love is the complete lack of it." This means behaviours we perceive as negative - violence, anger, jealousy, depression, ego, manipulation, bullying - are all expressions of deep-seated insecurity.
A "ladder of insecurity" is presented, with behaviours ranging from altruism (1% insecure) to suicide and murder (100% insecure). This visualises the theory's spectrum of behaviours. For example, ego is placed at 55% insecurity, anger at 75%, jealousy at 85%, depression at 90%, and war at 100%.
“All behaviours are different levels of insecurity; love, is the complete lack of it.” - this core idea underpins the entire theory.
Love as the Ultimate Strength:
Joey's Theory redefines strength as the ability to “love deeply and unconditionally”, originating from a place of inner security. True power comes from compassion and the absence of fear.
The theory states that “the more love you give the stronger you are!”. This suggests that giving love isn't a weakness, but is in fact the source of true power. This is a strong counter to common Western cultural conditioning which often sees giving as weakness.
Love is defined as “simply the lack of all fear.”
This approach is described as a “human paradigm shift.”
The Power of Validation:
Validation is seen as essential to healing insecurity. By making people feel seen, loved and accepted, we can reduce behaviours arising from insecurity.
Providing validation to others creates a "safe zone/energy field" that attracts others.
“By focusing my attention solely on his safety in every moment, Joey could relax and offer love back.” - referring to the cockatoo named Joey which was the catalyst for the theory.
Behavioural Change through Empathy and Love:
Instead of reacting to insecure behaviour with offence or defensiveness (the common Western approach), Joey's Theory advocates responding with empathy and love.
This is demonstrated through examples of scenarios: “Are you OK?”, “I’m sorry you’re upset, what can I do?”, “How can I help?”, “What’s up?”
Two scenarios are presented: One where insecure behaviour is ignored and is thus "conditioned into extinction," and another where it's met with empathy and love. The latter is presented as the path to validation and more secure behaviour.
Intuition and Authenticity:
The theory promotes listening to inner wisdom and acting on intuition. "Intuit, do it." is a central concept to encourage this process.
Trusting inner guidance is key to aligning with one's true purpose and creating a fulfilling life. "Your ecstatic destiny is enacting your intuition."
It’s suggested we are “all perfectly deliberately unique.”
The Role of Low Frequency Energy:
Activities that bring balance, low frequency and security bring us closer to love. These include connecting with nature, meditating, swimming and helping others.
Insecurity is described as “exhausting and high frequency,” while balance and love are described as “sustainable lower frequency.”
A Counter-Cultural Perspective:
Joey’s Theory presents a counter-cultural perspective on success and strength, prioritizing love and inner security over traditional measures of achievement and power.
This is described as “a new cultural conditioning.” and suggests “a whole new world” is possible.
It proposes a shift where “an individual’s level of security, not insecurity, will be the recognised ruling denominator of social status.”
DSV - Desperately Seeking Validation:
Nina Fitzgerald suggests “most talk is a form of DSV (desperately seeking validation).”
This implies we often speak to seek external validation, rather than as genuine communication.
Silence and authentic presence are presented as more powerful forms of communication, stemming from self-acceptance.
Implications & Applications:
Personal Growth: The theory offers a framework for understanding and managing our own behaviours, encouraging a shift from insecurity to love. It encourages self reflection through identifying “Behavioural Indicators”, and making “supportive connections.”
Relationships: It provides a pathway to fostering healthier, more empathetic relationships through validation, love and understanding, particularly in response to others' insecurities.
Societal Change: It envisions a world where love and security are valued above power and aggression. It also proposes a re-evaluation of how we perceive leaders, suggesting they may be the most insecure. True strength is found in those “with the incredible security to give with love constantly”.
Environmental Responsibility: The theory suggests that a focus on love and compassion will lead to a more harmonious relationship with the planet. “When acts of violence are universally recognised signs of weakness and insecurity, people will be less inclined to demonstrate those.”
Intergenerational Trauma: The theory is presented as a potential mechanism for breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma, offering the opportunity to shift from “passing on intergenerational trauma,” to instead focusing on creating secure environments, so that new generations can thrive.
Key Quotes:
"All behaviours are different levels of insecurity. Love is the complete lack of it."
"The more love you give, the stronger you are."
"Danger stop, fear go."
"Intuit, do it."
"Your ecstatic destiny is enacting your intuition."
"Security attracts security and insecurity attracts insecurity."
"Helping others is the most sustainable form of love."
Call to Action:
Joey's Theory calls for a personal and collective shift towards valuing love, empathy, and inner security. It encourages us to:
Recognise insecurity in ourselves and others.
Offer validation instead of reinforcement to insecure behaviours.
Lead with empathy and love.
Trust our intuition.
Listen with genuine care.
Help others.
Create secure environments.
Recognise our own intrinsic perfection.
Conclusion:
Joey's Theory presents a powerful and hopeful message, proposing that by understanding the root of all behaviour as insecurity, and by choosing love as the core principle, we can transform ourselves, our relationships, and our world. It’s a challenging yet optimistic framework that invites us to shift our perspectives and to embody greater love and compassion.
Notebook LM 2025
