Joey’s Theory, developed by Nina Fitzgerald, is a radical yet simple framework that challenges traditional understandings of human behaviour, strength, success and social status. At its core, the theory proposes that all behaviours are different levels of insecurity; love, is the complete lack of it. This Australian-born perspective offers a pathway for personal and global transformation by shifting focus away from fear-based reactions to empathy, love, and validation. It suggests a new cultural conditioning where security is prioritised.
Core Concepts and Themes
Insecurity as the Root of All Behaviour:
The central tenet: "All behaviours are different levels of insecurity; love, is the complete lack of it." This suggests that negative behaviours such as violence, anger, jealousy, depression, ego, manipulation and bullying are manifestations of underlying insecurity. These are not personal failings, but signals of a deeper need.
The Ladder of Insecurity: The theory visualizes insecurity on a spectrum from 0% (love) to 100% (suicide/murder/war). The ladder includes:
1% Insecure: Altruism – While seemingly selfless, altruism subtly boosts one's sense of security.
55% Insecure: Ego – Characterized by seeking validation and energy from others.
75% Insecure: Anger – A defensive reaction stemming from deep insecurity, involving attacking others to steal energy.
85% Insecure: Jealousy – An extreme manifestation of insecurity related to feelings of threat, inadequacy and comparing oneself to others.
90% Insecure: Depression – A state of immense insecurity.
100% Insecure: Suicide/Murder/War – The ultimate expression of insecurity, stemming from feelings of complete lack of safety.
Joey’s Theory posits that Western culture is conditioned to address insecurities through offense and defense, perpetuating the cycle of fear, rather than healing them.
Love as the Ultimate Strength and a Lack of Fear:
Redefinition of Strength: Joey’s Theory redefines strength as the ability to love deeply and unconditionally, originating from inner security. This is a shift from the traditional view which equates strength to physical power, assertiveness and control. "True power comes from compassion and the absence of fear."
Love as a Source of Power: “The more love you give the stronger you are!”. Giving love isn’t seen as weakness but a source of true empowerment. Love is defined as “simply the lack of all fear.”
The theory suggests that true leadership is defined by compassion and inner strength.
Examples are given of the Dalai Lama and Mother Theresa who are presented as people who operate with "the incredible security to give with love constantly."
The Power of Validation and Safety:
Healing through Validation: Validation is central to healing insecurity. By making people feel seen, loved, and accepted, insecure behaviours reduce.
Creating a Safe Space: Providing validation generates a "safe zone/energy field" that attracts others. “By focusing my attention solely on his safety in every moment, Joey could relax and offer love back.” - refers to the cockatoo that inspired the theory.
The importance of making people feel safe and secure is paramount.
Behavioural Change through Empathy and Love:
Countering Fear with Empathy: Rather than reacting to insecurity with offense (the common Western approach), the theory advocates responding with empathy and love.
Secure Responses: Examples include: “Are you OK?”, “I’m sorry you’re upset, what can I do?”, “How can I help?”, “What’s up?”
Two scenarios are presented: one of “conditioned extinction” by ignoring insecure behaviour, and one where insecure behaviour is met with empathy and love. The latter is identified as the pathway to positive change.
It is suggested that empathy, understanding and sincere listening are key components to healing and validation.
Intuition and Authenticity:
Listening to Inner Wisdom: The theory promotes acting on intuition. “Intuit, do it.” It suggests we are all “perfectly deliberately unique” and encourages individuals to trust their inner guidance.
"Your ecstatic destiny is enacting your intuition." is a key motto.
Trusting inner guidance helps individuals align with their true purpose and create fulfilling lives.
The Role of Low-Frequency Energy:
Balancing High Frequencies: Insecurity is described as "exhausting and high frequency," while love and balance are "sustainable lower frequency."
Activities of Love: Activities that bring balance, low frequency, and security, such as connecting with nature, meditating, swimming, and helping others, bring people closer to love. These are described as low-frequency activities.
Helping others is described as "the most sustainable form of love and it validates both parties".
A Counter-Cultural Perspective:
Redefining Success and Strength: Joey’s Theory presents a counter-cultural perspective by prioritizing love and inner security over traditional measures of achievement and power, suggesting a “human paradigm shift.”
Shifting Social Status: It proposes a world where "an individual's level of security, not insecurity, will be the recognised ruling denominator of social status."
It suggests a “new cultural conditioning” is possible and that we can achieve “a whole new world”.
DSV (Desperately Seeking Validation) and the Power of Silence:
Talk as a Form of DSV: Nina Fitzgerald suggests "most talk is a form of DSV (desperately seeking validation)." This implies that often we talk to seek external approval rather than genuine communication.
Authenticity in Silence: Silence and authentic presence are presented as more powerful forms of communication, stemming from self-acceptance.
Inner security means we no longer need to seek validation, we simply can "be".
Intergenerational Trauma:
BINT and POINT: Nina Fitzgerald introduces the concepts of BINT – “break the intergenerational trauma” and POINT – “pass on the intergenerational trauma”.
The theory suggests that we can choose to break the cycle of trauma.
Key Quotes
"All behaviours are different levels of insecurity; love, is the complete lack of it."
"The more love you give the stronger you are.”
"An individual’s level of security, not insecurity, will be the recognised ruling denominator of social status."
"Intuit, do it."
"Danger stop, fear go."
"Receive love. Share love. Multiply love."
“Security attracts security and insecurity attracts insecurity."
“most talk is a form of DSV (desperately seeking validation).”
"Your ecstatic destiny is enacting your intuition."
Cast of Characters
Nina Fitzgerald: The creator and main proponent of Joey’s Theory. Identifies with Bundjalung Jagun.
Joey (Cockatoo): The inspiration for the theory. Joey's fear-driven behaviours and subsequent response to validation helped Nina crystalise her ideas.
Becky Jo Quinn: Nina’s work colleague who helped Nina realize the root cause of Joey’s (the cockatoo) behaviour was insecurity.
Camille Beaux: The interviewer who has conducted multiple interviews with Nina.
Ian Judson: An accountant who commends the theory.
Sussanne Sweet Pea: Expresses her love for Nina’s posts, and asks to PM her.
Vera Liea Watiningsih: She comments that Joey's Theory is similar to her understanding of behaviour.
Dalai Lama and Mother Theresa: Examples of people embodying the principles of the theory, giving love freely from inner security.
Daniel H. Pink: Author, quoted as saying “Empathy is about standing in someone’s shoes, feeling with their heart, seeing with their eyes.”
Martin Luther King Jr.: Civil Rights leader, quoted as saying “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.”
Mahatma Gandhi: Indian activist, quoted as saying "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Practical Applications of Joey's Theory
Cultivate Self-Love and Security: Practices like mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and surrounding yourself with supportive people are paramount.
Give Love Freely: Consciously offer love and kindness in all interactions, including helping others.
Practice Empathy and Compassion: Understand the perspectives of others, responding with compassion rather than judgment.
Connect with Nature: Spend time in nature to foster peace and balance.
Implications and Impact
Transformation on a Personal and Societal Level: Joey’s Theory challenges individuals to reassess their priorities, encouraging a shift towards a more compassionate and love-centered approach to life.
New ways of interacting with the world: The theory’s implications could potentially transform personal relationships, social structures, and global interactions.
A More Harmonious World: By adopting the principles of Joey’s Theory, we can create a more harmonious and secure world.
Conclusion
Joey’s Theory offers a profound framework for understanding and transforming human behaviour by highlighting the foundational role of love and security. It’s a call for a new cultural conditioning which prioritises compassion and inner strength over fear and external validation. By embracing these principles, individuals can experience a more fulfilling, secure, and meaningful life and collectively, we can strive toward a more harmonious and loving world.
Notebook LM, January 2025
